Too many time-outs

So, tonight was one of my awful parenting nights.  I mean just awful. 

We were all having a wonderful time...dancing to music and playing in the living room.  It begins to creep near bath time and we tell Hailey (our 3 year old) that after one more song, we're taking a bath.  Well, the song ends and she gets defiant.  "No, I am not going to take a bath."  "Yes, let's go upstairs." "No, I'm not tired." 

We don't usually allow any talking back so it was straight to time-out for Hailey.  This is when it goes all wrong.  After her 3 minutes in time-out, I explained to her that she had been in time-out for not listening and for arguing with her parents.  Our rule is that she has to say sorry and promise not to do whatever the behavior is anymore.  She refused, "I don't think I will say that."  We explained it several times and she understood what we were asking but still said, "No, I don't think so."  

Back to time-out.  Ear-splitting screaming for 3 minutes.  "You were put in time-out for not listening and for arguing with your parents.  Do you understand?"  "Yes."  "Okay, I love you honey, now let's go upstairs and take a bath." "No.  I'm not really tired." 

This is when I suppose I should have stopped to analyze the situation better but I put her back in time-out for talking back.  No warning, just straight back because it was such an instant defiance.

And the breakdown begins because she's now crying and screaming and kicking and now my husband begins to let me know that I'm being too hard on her.  So then I'm angry for him criticizing me for disciplining Hailey while he's just laying on the couch.  And then, with all this negative energy, I take her out of time-out, no discussion this time, and take her upstairs.  She did not want to so I had to carry her screaming.  We take a bath and she's pretty miserable the whole time.  Still crying.  As I am drying her off, I yell at her "That's enough! Stop this crying!"  But she is crying too hard to stop. 

I look at her and suddenly realize how mad I sound.  How rushed I was in taking her upstairs and doing her bath.  How she's only 3 years old, even though she acts older.  How I am her mommy and she wants unconditional love and doesn't understand why I am scowling or why she's even in trouble. 

I hug her and tell her I love her and I am so sorry.  I tell her she's a sweetie and I just want her to listen and be good.  She said, "I forgive you mama."  Sigh.  My 3 year old has to forgive me. 

Like I said - awful night for my parenting!